Written 2025-06-20 (w2376d5).
I've experienced many things over the last week that helped me to realize that my next creative direction is another album. I'm collating themes and potential song titles, considering the meanings of the titles, and choosing keys that are appropriate for each one. I'm aiming for somewhat of a spiritual successor to Shattered Memories, with elements of Links to the Past and The Calm After the Storm incorporated as well.
I'm contemplating how all the notes I've taken and writing I've done over the past few years fit in to all of this, but there is the distinct possibility that they don't; it may be a symptom of trying to craft life instead of following the flow.
I recently read the Tao Te Ching again.
Written 2025-06-13 (w2375d5).
I'm realizing that life revolves around the idea of maintenance; that any projects started or created will continue on with or without inertia. To keep the inertia going, things need to be maintained. There is no actual closure; only the levels of maintenance applied. Some things need more maintenance than others, and that is up to the individual to determine (hopefully correctly).
I'm also realizing my return to music needs to be the same way I left it; using two samples in Hydrogen and going from there. I'll adjust the ADSR envelope to make it so notes don't ring out so long, though I wanted that for The Calm After the Storm. It may go nowhere like my other recent attempts, but I will try.
Written 2025-05-30 (w2373d5).
I'm sitting at a crossroads trying to figure out my next steps. External things still influence, and it seems like I try new directions by the day. The only thing making sense is to clean up my past through decluttering, retracing steps, and letting go. After collecting so many things (which wasn't helped by taking advantage of the 20% off sale from Half Price Books during Memorial Day weekend), it's time to let them go so I can figure out what they meant to me. I'll read the books first, though it's hard to say if I'll review them; I'm still stalled out on the review of the book I've linked too many times below. Hopefully, next week will bring more clarity.
Written 2025-05-23 (w2372d5).
I'm returning to music after listening to Steve Von Till's new album "Alone in a World of Wounds" (which is a line from a passage in "The Sand County Almanac," a book on wilderness preservation by Aldo Leopold) and finding inspiration in it. I've enjoyed Steve's music since his time in Neurosis, and found his solo work with the release of "A Grave Is a Grim Horse" in 2008. As for my music, it's way too early in the process to hype anything; I'm coming up with ideas and writing lyrics.
I'm celebrating the departure of an unhappy coworker, which felt like a shroud had lifted from my workplace once he left for the last time yesterday. Even though today will be a busy day, I'm looking forward to it.
I'm still working on my review of "Four Thousand Weeks" by Oliver Burkeman, but it's not going very quickly. I'm wondering if book reviews are the right project for me, or if I am meant to read the books and share the wisdom I've learned from them through my writings; more things to ponder on next week's walk through Bridle Trails State Park.
Written 2025-05-16 (w2371d5).
I'm sifting through old notes to see what is still viable and what no longer resonates. It's difficult to keep up with all the changing ideas over the weeks, so occasionally I need to sit down and dig through everything.
I'm helping my mom with her yardwork as much as I can, which is difficult with my busy schedule. Her yard is overgrown and the tools she has for clearing brush (mostly blackberries) are lacking, so I'm researching for the most efficient tools with the lowest cost.
I'm preparing to write my first book review for this site ("Four Thousand Weeks" by Oliver Burkeman), now that I've had time to digest the information from the book. I hope to have it done by the end of next week.
Written 2025-05-09 (w2370d5).
I've finished reading "Four Thousand Weeks" by Oliver Burkeman and took almost 200 sentences worth of notes, so I'll sift through them and post a review in the near future.
I'm taking a little time between books to sift through my glossary of ideas and incorporate what I've learned from "Four Thousand Weeks" into it, as well as tidy up the glossary itself.
I've made a weight goal I've worked towards for a while through eating one meal a day for 2-4 days a week over the past five weeks, and I want to see how much more weight I can lose through that method. I'm still 30 pounds above the top of my ideal weight range, so I've got some more work to do. I've been there before, so I can get there again.
Written 2025-05-02 (w2369d5).
I'm taking in information from my ascetic experiments last month and deciding if I want to continue them.
I'm feeling gratitude for the renewed interest in "The Calm After the Storm", which I attribute to visitors from Neocities after relaunching this website. I hope those that listened enjoyed the piece, or it at least helped them find some calm. I can also recommend "Twilight Surf" as a calming piece that I created.
I'm reading "Four Thousand Weeks" by Oliver Burkeman and am about 100 pages into it. I've also taken over 100 sentences of notes from it, so I anticipate I'll have a review of it posted within the next few weeks. Without diving into it, I've highly enjoyed my time with the book.
Written 2025-04-22 (w2368d2).
I'm rebuilding this website, hopefully for one last time (though I've said that many times before). The many times I rebuilt it before was with "look at me!" as the focus, whereas this time I'm aiming for "how can I help?"
I'm practicing ascetic ideas, such as only eating once a day a few times a week. Part of it is for weight loss, part of it is to save money, and part of it is for the clarity that comes with giving my digestive system a break.
I'm taking long walks in nature at least once a week to clear my head and generate ideas that bring peace of mind.
I'm taking a break from the relentless call of information gathering and sitting in the moment with myself, occasionally perusing the information I've collected and sorted. It's a time to pause and listen to myself before moving on to the next step, whatever that may be.
Music calls again, yet music uses silence as a canvas, and silence is the well I want to draw understanding from.